Farewell, My Wonderful Japan Bash

So long, and farewell.

The last post was over three years ago. The last post that I actually put some thought into was even further back in time, in 2016. It's quite obvious that this blog is no longer something I think about. And though I will keep the domain name registered for shits and giggles, I have a feeling the site is about to implode.

You see, I hosted all the photos on a website called Flickr. In the past, it was around $10 a year for a pro account. Then they sold the company. The new owners raised the price. While I redesigned www.ramenadventures.com into a new, non-Flicker-using portal for all things ramen, Japan Bash remains tied to this service.

I canceled it in February 2021. There is a large possibility that the 21,000 photos stored on their servers will disappear. 

I started Gaijin Bash (the original name) in 2006 when I moved from San Francisco, California, USA to Japan. I guess you could e-stalk me by starting at that first post.

So thank you for the views. In total 243,000 people viewed this site from the first post in 2006. I made around $500 in adsense revenue, though I think that is also including money from Ramen Adventures, which is kind of depressing considering that the site has many millions of views. Looking back, I think I did the blog thing incorrectly. I had friends who claimed their blogs were making real money. Blogs about things much less SEO friendly than ramen.

The most popular post was my Teaching in Japan writeup. I hope this post was genuinely useful to people. It was meant to be.

Keep in touch. I'm on every social media platform I can think of @ramenadventures. Look me up. YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, FaceBook, Twitch, Discord, Clubhouse. Sorry, no Mixi.

I'm Brian, and this was Japan Bash.

High School Graduation

Don't ask...

Teaching English in Japan

Here we go... almost everything I know about teaching English in Japan.

I get a load of emails from people wanting information and advice. Not just boring stuff like, "Should I teach English in Japan?", but stuff like, "Exactly how much can I earn teaching freelance English lessons at Starbucks to businessmen?" or "Should I get signed on with a big teaching school, get to Japan, and then quit with my visa still sitting pretty at 364 days?" or "What camera do you use?"

There are two schools of thought for teaching here. Of course there is a third as well. Let's look at the third one first.

Go to college and get a proper teaching degree -> land a job at an international school -> the end. You can land a pretty decent job, with benefits and all that shit. This is assuming, though, that you want to make a career out of teaching. You might be able to pull this off with a fake degree from Thailand. I have neither a real teaching degree nor a fake degree of any kind. I have a degree in computers. Moving on.

The two schools of thought are

1. Salary. A salaried, 40 hours a week, 5 days a week job with either a major eikaiwa (English conversation school) or as an ALT (Assistant Language Teacher).
2. Freelance contracts. Have a bunch of part time eikaiwa or ALT or other jobs.

Both have benefits and drawbacks. I have also done both. When I first came to Japan, I was a salaried worker for a major eikaiwa. Now in Tokyo, I do freelance style, and currently have 4 sources of income.

Salary Style.

There is a notion that anyone with a college degree (in any field) and a pulse can get a job teaching English in Asia. This is 100% totally true. Not only is it easy to land the job, but logistics are all taken care of by the company. They will often deal with visa paperwork, housing, even airfare and training. And to make matters even easier, many of them recruit overseas. What are you waiting for?

I started with a company called Amity, which is a children's eikaiwa. I interviewed in Los Angeles, was hired a couple weeks later, and spent a year and a half with them. I'm happy with the experience, though if you read some older posts, maybe I wasn't having the best time. If you selectively forget negative experiences, life is smooth. Word.

Some links of easy to get salaried teaching companies:

• AEON - with 10 recruiting stations in the US, Canada, England, and Australia. They pay a decent salary of 270,000 yen (about 3 Gs) and give bonuses, which is a nice... bonus.
• Amity - the children's division of AEON. You will get a better salary, but you MUST love getting punched in the nuts, grabbed on your titties, and poked in your butthole by little kids. I'm not a perv, kids in Japan do that shit every day. The salary was 285,000 yen when I worked there, and I often got about 30,000 a month in bonuses. No jobs in Tokyo though, everything is relatively countryside.
• Nova - This is the notoriously famous eikaiwa that fucked it's employees and students, then went bankrupt, then was bought by another company. The concept of "2 big 2 fail" is out of control in Japan, and it's back to business as usual. They even kept the stupid mascot! 4 years ago, almost every foreigner in Japan was working for Nova. People talk (ed) mad shit about this school, and I miss the almost bi-weekly random news reports about Nova staff getting busted for selling coke, or blogs by Nova teachers talking about how many of their students they were laying, or stories about general nonsense. It was funny.
• ECC - Another generic eikaiwa. I knew a lot of ECC teachers in Tokyo. Most of them were of the "party in Tokyo for a year" mentality. Huge social circles, and often the gay bar "Dragon Men" in Shinjuku would be full of ECC teachers from 7-10pm, when they have their 1000 yen all you can drink special. I'm not saying they are all queer, just broke.
• GEOS - wait a minute.... did they just go bankrupt too?
• Interac - Japan's number one ALT placement company. The salary is shitty, at the minimum legal rate of 250,000 yen. But if you would rather work a 8-4 public school job than a 11-8 eikaiwa job, go for it.
• JET - The government sponsored ALT company. The salary is better, the locations more countryside, and the application process is much more involved. I don't know enough to talk about it, but I do know not to talk shit, lest a band of merry JETs descend upon me in a murderous rage in the night. They tend to dwell in packs and be very proud of their JETness. In more than 1 countryside city, I've gone to the local gaijin bar and seen a group of JETs huddles together, speaking in JET lingo, talking shit about all the other white folk in the town. Come to think of it, I've also seen the same thing with Canadians.

Each company has different policies about housing. Most will help you out. I haven't heard of any giving it for free. Some subsidize. Some put you with roommates. Check the websites.

So there you go. You'll get here, you'll make enough to survive, you'll get the same holiday weeks that all the Japanese get, and you'll have a swell time in Japan. I was actually able to save about $1000 a month, with a take home of about $2000 after taxes, rent, bills, etc. I was the only person I ever met who saved any money though, which I don't understand. Or maybe I do. My female friends all spent hella dough on clothes, and the dudes all got high maintenance girlfriends.

About vacations, each company is different. At Amity, I had the usual Japanese national holiday days off. But, most Japanese 1-day holidays are on a Monday. And the job was Tuesday to Saturday. Do some math, carry the 1, and you'll see that 90% of the national holidays fall on your regular day off. Daaaaamn. And no, it doesn't mean you get the next day off instead.

More about vacations. I also got 5 flex-time days a year. So you can essentially get an extra week vacation at one point. The manager of your school will likely be angry if you try and use these days, as the Japanese staff follows an unwritten rule that they are not to be used. But a nice trip in the off-season trumps and angry manager, for sure.

Oh, another rad bonus of this system. The bonus is bonuses. Many contracts have some sort of completion bonus. I got about a grand for a year and a half. Plus many will pay for your flight home. Plus your rent deposit might be through your company. At mine, they paid me all of that, plus my month and change in salary, all in cash on my last day. So even if I hadn't saved a yen, I got a wad of like $4000 in a nice little envelope on my last day.

On top of that, when you leave you can apply to get your pension back, if you were forced to pay into the system. So that could be as much as $2000 per year. All that adds up to a nice pillow you could use to travel for a while, buy some sweet wheels, or get a ring for that girl you just knocked up. できちゃった ya'll!

What did I do with my tons of post contract scrilla? I moved to Tokyo and started...

Freelance Style Work (aka hella different job, aka living day by day, aka not for the feint of heart)

First off, let me say that I'm not going to mention particular companies that I currently work for. I just don't want 1 of the 5 people who might read this to be a boss of mine and get the wrong idea about me. Because doing freelance is a volatile situation! Let's say you have 20 days a month where you teach a couple high school classes, but there is a typhoon and school gets cancelled for a week. There goes a potential $800. Let's say a private student gets transfered to Germany. There goes triple digit $ in lost potential a month. Let's say the swine flu is back with a vengeance, there go your kids after school lessons; and there goes a cool G for the month. Let's say your camp boss reads this blog, doesn't like what you said about Saitama, and fires you. The potential loss is huge. But on the other hand...

The sky's the limit! Let's soar!

• Gaba - I'll start with this one. If you work for Gaba, then something is wrong with you. That said, I worked for Gaba for a little over a year. Here's the deal... they hire anyone, and they let you make your own schedule (more on that in a sec). My interview with Gaba was literally a dude asking me if I had a valid visa, then hiring me. You go through some bullshit company training, which allows the company to advertise that it's instructors are certified (even the 18 year old British kid who was obsessed with manga on a working holiday visa is billed as certified). You schedule yourself in their computer system, and show up on those days. The catch is that if a student doesn't sign up for your lesson slot, you won't get paid. This is all straight forward, so it's not like you're getting tricked or anything, but if you don't work nights or weekends, you won't be getting much pay, cause no one will sign up for your class. And the pay is pathetic at $15 for a 40 minute lesson. There is opportunity for raises, but they have this whack system involving unpaid training sessions and an employee ranking system which only works if you devote 6 days a week to them. But, like I said, they hire anyone, and quick, so when I first moved to Tokyo I was suddenly making $70 a night and $150 on weekends, so it's a good place to start. In the end, I kept making my schedule less and less, and they decided to hint that I should quit by not approving my schedule of 3 hours a week. And that was the end of that. By the way, I know a few people who work full time at Gaba, supporting families with kids. They are all generally unhappy with their work, but, hey... it's a living. Oh, and they make you wear a black suit everyday, no exceptions. Thanks for listening to my rant on Gaba.
• Part time ALT work - It's not hard, if you want to work from April to March, to get a job working at a public school as an assistant language teacher. You can find listings on gaijinpot.com, just past all the fucking Gaba ads. Of course, you can get a full time ALT gig, which might pay as little as 240,000 yen a month (should I write in yen? Usually I just take off 2 zeros and call it dollars, but of course that's wrong). Anyways, $2400 for 5 days a week of work, albeit it easy work. But more attractive, in my opinion, is part time ALT work. You earn from $70 to $150 a day, and you are off work in the afternoon, so you can go to the park or start a ramen blog or get other jobs. The point is you'll have a ton of free time. It's pretty easy to make $2000 a month off the bat and only work 3 days a week.

A quick note about money. Chances are, you're looking at these dollar amounts and thinking, "The fuck? That's hella low! I'm trying to make $80k a year." There aren't many opportunities for big money for the unqualified English teacher fresh to Japan. I could talk about free time vs. money potential and all that crap, but let's just say that I have a lot of free time and a stress free work life. But I only have enough to ride a 20 year old used motorcycle. On the other hand, a buddy of mine has a new BMW adventure bike every year, but he's a slave at his office. We're both a bit jealous of each other. Funny how that works. Back to the point...

• Private students. This is a great way to make some extra cash on the side. You meet these English learners, people of all walks of life, at a cafe or their house, or their business and give a 1 hour lesson. Usually it's just free conversation with some textbook work thrown in. When you get some cool students, it's pretty enjoyable. You can charge anywhere from $20 an hour to $50 or so. Scheduling can be a challenge, and lately I have a few too many students, especially in the evenings. So you may have to play a juggling game... with human lives! Rad! Getting students is usually done through agencies like; findstudents.net, teacherstudent.com, eigopass.net, findateacher.net, abckara.com, plus about a dozen others I never signed up for. About half my students come from referrals though, word of mouth stuff. One note about the services. Some of them will charge your students a monthly fee and try to act like you work for them. One company, which I haven't talked to for over a year and a half, has been charging my students $40 a month for my services. It's kind of whack, because they tell the students that I'm part of the company and that we work together for their benefit and what not. But we don't. I schedule everything directly with the students. But I'm scared to say anything because I heard some of these companies have mafia ties. Oh, another note, a lot of people who teach private lessons are smooth talking guys who use it as a dating service. So if that's your thing... go for it you scumbag!

I'm kind of scattered when I write this. Actually, I've been writing this post for about 6 months, maybe spending 10 minutes at a time, often when avoiding more important things. Remember, this info is meant for someone new to the world of unqualified English teaching, with no Japanese language ability, and little or no social network in Tokyo. It should go without saying that if you've been here a few years, you should be able to upgrade things to a point. Some private schools hire teachers directly. Some rad children's programs don't advertise for new workers. Get out there, socialize and doing your thing, and think positive. Or you can just work at the eikaiwa for ten years. I know a few dudes who do that. Speaking of kids...

Kidz vs Adults (aka, gettin punches in the nuts or stinky old man breath)

I don't know where I'm going with this, I just wanted to mention that today I spent an hour with an 8 year old boy, after his grandma's English lesson, eating Thai food and talking about how to kill zombies. He hates the notion of learning English, but I got him to understand the difference between a shotgun and a machine gun, which are English words, so I guess it's good. Also, we came to a mutual conclusion that punching a zombie in the nuts won't do much. So... teaching kids is rad cause kids are pretty funny sometimes.

Getting constantly punched in the nuts... zombie style... is the downside. You think I'm joking. I'm not. There is some dynamic in Japan between kids and their teachers (maybe just the foreign ones) that leads to the infamous kancho.

Teaching adults is more mentally stimulating, usually. But sometimes they have bad breath.

You can fart hella loud in front of a little kid and gain superhero status. Do the same in a Starbucks with your hot 25 year old fashion designer student and things will turn out different.

The End

I'm fully aware that I've stopped talking about useful things and started making poop jokes. So I'll stop. You can ask me questions in the comments.

// ***************

// Years later . . .

// ***************

In case people were wondering, after about four years in Tokyo, my work is in a good place. I have about six or seven sources of income.

1. I teach part time at a private girl's high school. This is a direct hire. I was introduced by a friend who was leaving the job. Usually these jobs are through an agency, but a few years before I started, the agency and school had a falling out and they just went ahead and hired directly. The school pays less, the teachers get more. It is pay-by-the-lesson style, so if there is a typhoon, I am out some serious cash.
2. I work for a kid's school a few days a week. The classrooms are actually at local people's houses all over the greater Tokyo area, so I always travel to some new spot. Usually two or three lessons in a day. Ages from five to 15.
3. I have about six regular private students now. I haven't been searching at all. I like my evenings and want to have more of them free.
4. I work doing summer camps. A month away, living in hotels in the mountains. My summer is pretty much given to the company. Luckily the other camp people are some of my best friends. The pay is extraordinary.
5. I do children's events. Singing (sing-talk ftw) and dancing with kids.
6. I work for a Japanese magazine, but that's another story.

//

//Again, years later

//

I wrote this all back in 2010. If you've been following me all that time . . . who are we kidding . . . if you have been following me all that time I think I know who you are. All 3 of you. Anyways, these days (2016), I do:

1. I still work at the high school. I'll probably be fired soon because I take a lot of days off to eat ramen.
2. I picked up a once-a-week teaching gig at a beauty college. Hunh? Well, the pay is good, the lessons are simple, and it forces me out of the house on Wednesdays. I tend to get more done if I'm pushed to wake up before noon.
3. Only one private student left! She has a fascinating job in the English world translating certain things that I can't talk about.
4. The kid's shows are kind of my main gig.
5. Ramen, ramen, ramen.

Actually, I devote about 2/3 of my energy to the ramen stuff. Teaching has been good, but the ramen stuff has been vastly more interesting.


//
//2018 year end update?
//

I stopped updating this blog this year, which is kind of sad. Anyways, if you want to know what kind of teacher I am now, the answer is I am not.

1. Quit the high school. Or maybe I was fired. The didn't renew my contract, a contract I wasn't going to take anyways. In typical Japanese fashion, the foreigner was ignored for years. It caught up with me; showing up everyday, teaching kids who either really wanted to learn, or standing in front of a class of silence. Like many teaching jobs in Japan, it was easy money, but it just felt like it needed to end.

2. Left the beauty college. I liked that place, but it was another mindless job.

3. I don't know why I am numbering this list.

4. Currently, I perform in children's events on the weekend, and do ramen related activities on the weekdays. If I could focus I would be a famous, successful YouTuber / writer, but I find it hard to concentrate these days. For example, I was searching this defunct blog for photos of when I was in Shikoku (for my next book) but instantly got distracted by this, my most successful post. So instead of doing something that will earn me money and fame, I'm typing some bull. Hooray!

Summer Camp in Niigata (it gets random)

Remember last year, when I spent all of August in Hokkaido, touring around on the motorcycle and volunteering at an organic dairy farm? The drawback of an epic month long vacation from freelance work is that you actually spend money, while not making any. So this year I jumped at an offer to do children's summer camps for the month.

The camps were pretty normal, it's the bits before and after that are rad / funny / fucked up. Let's go!

The Yamanote train line in Tokyo was delayed 3 minutes at 5am. This led to me missing the 5:12am train out of Ueno station. Thus I arrived at this spot, let's call it "hella middle of nowhere" at 8:30 instead of 8:15. So now I can't take the 8:24, I have to wait for the 9:47. The chain reaction goes on, and I missed my hotel bus. But life is worth living! Whats up out here?

Focus!

Beautiful Echigo-Yuzawa. There's a primo sake tasting museum in the station. No time though, as the delays required me to take a taxi to the hotel.

Focus!

Unfocus!

Meanwhile, at camp, you can do a plethora of wondrous activities. Like bobbing for watermelons.

Or riding the "Exciting Roller Luge". Actually, the roller luge was exciting as fuck, and we spent many of our free times luging it up.

There were some freaky looking goats outside my hotel window. Seriously, those eyes are demonic!

After the week was up, I hitched to local Tsunan station.

You know its countryside when the genkan (place people put their shoes before entering the house) is full of potatoes.

I managed to make the Iyama (maybe?) line with a minute to spare. Freshness, cause if I had missed it, it would have been another 3 hours for the next train.

This train was the randomest I've been on. Not only was it only 1 car long, but it snaked along a riverside at about 20km/h. Then this massive group of old people from Osaka came to talk with me. They were cool, and all part of a Japanese archery club. When they got off, the remaining 20 people were all visual-kei fans. Viz-kei fashion is super slutty meets goth meets hello kitty. So it was me and all these viz-kei girls. But they were inaka viz-kei girls. I'll let you make your own deductions about what that means. I'm sorry I didn't take any of their photos. Do you have any tips about how to take candid street shots without ending up in jail?

Anyways, in Nagano, this lovely lady poured us tons of sake to go with....

John Lennon toast? Seriously, John Lennon visited a bread shop once a hundred km from Nagano, and they created a dish to honor that occasion.

It was pretty good though. In related news, the RZA will be on hand for a John Lennon tribute in LA. But you probably already knew that.

Sake also goes with insects and their larvae. Yum!

Later Nagano! See you again in a couple weeks. Then again in October. Then again when there is snow. I like Nagano.

Beaches of Izu

My and the CB1000 be hitting up some rad places.

Like this happy tempura shop. Hooray for the devil! And shrimp!

Or the local turtlarium. They have a lot of turtles. I wouldn't know, the entrance fee was like $10. Welcome to Izu, where the natural beauty is offset by the sheer whackness of bubble economy money and government overspending. Not a complaint! Safari zoos, abandoned water parks, and tacky love hotels are fun to visit.

Or this viewpoint. That building just down the hill is the hotel where I lived for 2 weeks; and the surrounding hills are where I hiked, sang songs, and collected bugs with kids for their annual summer camp. In the Izu tradition, it's actually a tennis resort with about two dozen courts. Of which, during the high summer holiday season, at most three were in use.

Even though I was swamped with work, I woke up super early a couple times to check out the area surrounding Inatori, just west of Shimoda. All of this near the southern tip of the Izu peninsula.

These waterfalls are part of the nana-daru (7 waterfalls). It's crazy famous with Japanese people, but don't just mention the waterfalls, unless you want blank stares. As with most things, there is a related piece of literature, or TV drama, or haiku, that needs to be explained.

Explanation: This chick is, like, a kimono dancing girl, and the dude totally wants to touch her, but he isn't allowed to, cause you don't touch no strange ladies.

Response: Oh, yeah, that story... it's famous!

You can buy a cute little garden, planted in a charcoaled bamboo trunk. I managed to kill my potted aloe plant, which also grows wild in the gravel alongside my apartment building. I put this little guy back.

Food in the area is all kinds of tasty seafood. This shop is above a foot onsen.

So kick it here, submerging your feet in 48 degree water (it's hot), then eat some of this.

What my tasteful bokeh doesn't show is all kinds of local fare.

Down towards Shimoda are some of the best beaches this side of Japan.

Shirohama is strange. What are those... colors? I'm used to the Tokyo beaches, with grey sand, gray water, and a nice graey sky. Also, there is a distinct lack of fat white guys down here in Shimoda. Just sayin.

Yumegahama ain't bad either. You can't camp on the beach, officially, but no one will stop you if you try.

Moving on...

This whole pet cemetery was empty, except for 2 graves.

I paid my respects, said hi to Fuji, then drove home.

Stay safe out there.

I'm off to another camp in Hyogo, then one in Niigata. As usual, no photos of the kids, cause the internet is scary.

Friday Morning Shopping

I work at 1:00 in the afternoon, so when I woke up and realized that the only Olympic sport on TV was that one that's the ice version of boccie ball, I decided to do a little shopping.



Life is a gift to be enjoyed, every second every minute
It's temporary, not infinite.



Everything here has a reason, don't get things twisted.



The beer, of course, needs little explanation.



The teen quiz mag might require clarification.



As does the guidebook to local sex museums around Japan.



But, it's 12:50, and I need to leave for work.

Kawaiso Stories

かわいそう = kawaiso = pitiful

After the summer break, I gave my high school girls an assignment. Write out something fucked up that happened during your vacation! We then voted on the stories. The kid with the most crazy fucked up story won a prize! Here's some of the gems.



I once ate 17 bananas at Boy Scout camp. True story.



She was the winner in one class. Seriously, she lost here saved game on a Nintendo game and every 17 year old girl was crying with sympathy. Or was it empathy.



Barfing was a common theme. Did you barf that much when you were 17? Ummm... let me rephrase... did you bar from eating too much? Once when we were 17, I drank a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 and "threw up all I had eaten".



Me too.



It was a diamond studded Lil John crunk cup.



A couple girls got shit on. I was happy that I got to teach her the word poop.



Ewwwwww!



She was absent for the homework and came up with this on the spot. A for effort.



I almost started crying, but everyone else in class was saying shogunai... that's life. The girl whose save game got deleted got more reaction. Welcome to Japan.



1st time it has ever happened in Japan.



Could be worse...



She wrote in the 3rd person to keep her anonymity. Didn't work too well when she had to read her story to everyone in class.



I guess there are giant scarab beetles running around her place.



Insects were another popular theme.



I'm not sure how to melt a cake either. It was at a Cake Viking, which is all you can eat desserts, so don't feel too bad for her.



Not really the assignment, but I'm very happy for her.