Shinnenkai Ride to Izu

The second weekend of the new year was the date for my riding group's 新年会. A shinnenkai is the first meeting of the new year. It's basically another excuse to get drunk, under the guise of the "meeting" moniker.



These guys are from SBKjapan.com. The site is an offshoot of gaijinriders.com. Both are forums for foreign motorcycle riders in Japan. The first, apparently, was started after a fight (flame war) on the second. So now there are 2 websites that basically serve the same purpose.



But SBK has lucky stickers! (last year someone's bike was stolen, and recovered when a forum member saw the sticker on an abandoned bike)



My adventure was to sack up and camp on the beach in the Bat Cave. Here's it is:



The Bat Cave is out secret camping spot. Don't mind the sign at the entrance. You can't read Japanese anyways, can you?



But when I got there, my sack literally went up into my body... it was cold! So I sucked it up and bunked with the others in the hotel.



Food was rad down in Shimoda. The Paradise Cafe next to our hotel, Earnest House, had some tasty breakfast going on. British people always act amazed when they see beans in Japan. Then you get to listen to them talk about their stupid ass "full English" breakfasts for ten minutes. Whatever, it's no Moons Over MiHami!



I have no photos from the actual shinnenkai drinking part of the night. There was a 96 percent bottle of Polish "single malt whiskey" involved. There was also arm wrestling with a guy who owns specialized arm wrestling exercise equipment and hella Japanese arm wrestling magazines. He won.



On the way back, I split from the pack so I could take it slow and explore a little bit more. Lot's of great views.



Some local kids running laps in the sand.



More locals.



More locals (of the permanent kind).





I found this random beach:



Just a big sand hill with a bunch of rocks at the bottom. I guess you could ski it.



About halfway up the coast I cut east, and ran the Nishi Izu Skyline. Fuck yeah!



It was cold. Fuck no!



The roads are almost empty. Fuck yeah!



The 2 skyline roads on Izu, despite being ass cold this time of year, are where it's at. You've got Mt. Fuji in front of you, the ocean on the left, and a drifting Subaru behind. Someone warned of ice, but it was clean driving the whole way.



Lunch was ise ebi ramen. That's ramen with a Japanese spiny lobster on top. It sucked. I don't know why I tried it, I knew the second I saw the empty ramen shop that it wouldn't be any good. And I paid a small fortune.



Focus on the good memories.

How to Make Monja-yaki

Monjayaki! This is something invented in Tsukishima, Tokyo. Here's how to make it.



Order it!



Ask the waiter to make it for you!



He will fry up all the solid things in the bowl.



He will make a doughnut shape.



He will pour the liquid into the doughnut shape.



He will mix it until it looks like a giant pile of vomit. Did I mention beer? You should be drinking. Cause you eat it up just like this.



Order another one! This shop had Mexican style monjayaki. Take a hike waiter dude, we'll handle this.



So far so good.



My doughnut technique is inferior.



But it still looked the same in the end. And it still looks the same coming out the other end, if you catch my drift. I'm talking about poops!

Ramen in Tokyo You MUST Try

あけおめ, Happy New Year. A lot of websites make a "year in review" post this time of year. What the hell is the point? If you click "older posts" at the bottom, you can read more. Do you want a play by play wrap up of stuff you've already read? Now that I've pissed off about half my blogging friends...

This past year I have had some of the most awesome, mouthwatering, decadent ramen that Tokyo has to offer. You can read about ALL my ramen adventures over at my ramenadventures site. But for those who don't care so much (the majority) here is my list, in no order, of some ramen shops you MUST eat at in Tokyo. These are the shops that I especially want visitors to Tokyo to try, they will change your outlook on ramen. Click the links for more information. Maps are at the end.


がんこ





Behind an inconspicuous black tarp storefront, with a single bone hanging by a chain, is Ganko. You feel like you are in a homeless person's tent/house in Ueno Park, but it's not. It's a ramen shop. You know it's gonna be good when the store is closed on days that "the soup isn't perfect". This place is hella hard to find too.

五行





Just off the main road of Roppongi is Gogyo. You remember Roppongi, yeah? It's that place where you think you maybe paid a 40 year old Eastern European lady $500 for a handjob in an alley, but you can't remember for sure because maybe this Nigerian dude slipped some ruffees in your drink. Yeah, that Roppongi! Well the ramen here is second to none. The atmosphere is more like a lounge, and the fire show in the kitchen is them blackening some miso for your soup. For those who missed their last train home, Gogyo is open late on the weekends, till 3am. And they serve liquor.


TETSU ラーメン





You will wait in line. At least an hour. It's worth it. Tetsu serves up the best tsukemen noodles in town. You get a bowl of hot soup, a bowl of hot noodles, and a bowl of cold noodles. Dip the later two in the first. At the end, you get a red hot stone, which you use to reboil the left over soup so you can drink it piping hot. Sounds complicated, I know, but there's a manga style instruction sheet to guide you.


吉村家ラーメン





With Yokohama style ramen, 90% is just plain awful. But the original in Yokohama will have you planning your next trip down. The pork tastes like steak to me, and the soup is like drinking pure happiness. It's in a rad part of town too, so you can do more than just eat.


アイバンラーメン





Of course I'm partial to Ivan Ramen, since the owner, Ivan Orkin, invited me to help out at a tsukemen festival. But this would never have happened if I didn't frequent his shop. Everything is tops here, but the noodles are on a whole other level. Foreigners always feel welcome here, and if Ivan isn't busy he loves to chat. And don't forget to say hi to Keizo!


Bossanova



I go here a lot. Most places that do "inventive" ramen don't do a good job. But Bossanova makes a green curry ramen that stops people in their tracks. It's spicy and creamy and rad.

Sure, there are a ton of good ramen shops in Tokyo. These are just some that I think will have a big impact on you. They are unique, fun, and best of all, cheap eats. You'll almost never pay more than $10 for a meal, so what are you waiting for?


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Pizza and Perv - My Junkmail

I get 3 things in my mailbox on a daily basis. This is a given. When I come home from a hard day teaching English or eating ramen, I dial in my mailbox code and get:

1. Apartment ads. I get at least 2 or 3 advertisements for other apartments. These are boring so I didn't take a picture.

2. Pizza ads. These are funny to people from other countries. "My gawd! Them Japanese are puttin' mayonnaise on the pizza. Lookit that!" Well here you go. Shrimp/crab/broccoli pizza.



3. And the last thing... delivery prostitution!



Sorry, delivery "health". The Japanese word for it is actually デリーヘルス, deri-herusu.

The idea is that you call them up, talk about what you want, then 30 minutes later the girl is at your door. Sorry, if they don't make it in 30 minutes, it ain't gonna be free. The advertised prices are about $250 for an hour and a half.

You want to know more? Let's go clockwise.

• The first one says what you can get; kisses, blow jobs (which is code for sex), you can go twice if you can make it in the time, 69 is good to go, they'll come anywhere in the Tokyo area, and if you don't like the girl, you can change to a new one for free (just ask the friendly yakuza gangster with her for a refund!). On the right side it says the girls are in their teens. 女子校 implies that the girls look like (or are) high school girls. They are also, apparently, inexperienced beautiful young girls.
• Next up is the "Ikeburuko Scout Paradise". They've scouted out the best, as opposed to companies that outsource to more independent ladies. The best part is that their girls really like to "Make Love".
• The one without pictures is way more innocent. Their girls will be kind to your heart and body. They will make you feel at ease and relaxed. They are pure.
• Next up is Delivery Club Piku Piku Peach. Their staff (all Japanese) will make YOU feel Piku piku! What kind of girls? Well, there's cute shop staff girls (like that babe you saw at McDonalds), magazine models, college students, ad campaign girls, lolita looking girls, and young housewives.
  
• Last we have King & Queen. This one, well they are all housewives. 25-40 year old ladies just looking for a few extra bucks on the side. A part time job if you will. Looks, personality, and mad skillz. Some are young, some are living the rich celebrity lifestyle, some are horny, and some are pure.

There you go. That's what's in my box every day! If anyone has any fun stories about either delivery pizza or delivery health in Japan, leave a comment. I ordered one of the two last week, split it with 3 other guys, and was finished in about 10 minutes.

NY Resolutions and Shit

There it is, the last sunset of the decade. Of course, my window is facing South East, so the sunset is a reflection off the Tokyo Dome Hotel (I think). It was a good year. I did a lot of shit.



Maybe the raddest thing of the year was this Christmas present I randomly got at a gift exchange.



A fucking vegetable lasagne MRE. Holy shit! Me, and the guy who bought it obviously, were the only people at the party who knew what it was. There was also a tiny bottle of Jagger along with it. I wish I remember the guy who did that, cause he is the best gift giver ever. I gave a bottle of Suntory whiskey to the gift exchange. Speaking of booze...



My New Years resolutions!

#1 on the list is simple. Drink more. Out at bars, at home watching anime porn, on the street after eating another bowl of ramen. That's it. Drink and see what happens. Keep it simple sucka.

#2 is a bit more of an endeavor. My Japanese reading ability is to the point where I need to start.... reading. Everyone says to read manga, Japanese comic books. "Start with kids manga," they say. "Doremon," they say. Well, I have no desire to read about god damned Doremon and his stupid doko demo do-a. Japanese manga spans all genres, from sci-fi to erotic boys love aimed at girls to real life true stories about samurais and other cool historical things. But, I've never actually read a manga. Never.

So, my off the wall New Years resolution is that I will only read Japanese manga for the next 12 months. No literature in book form of any kind. Nuthin but manga.

So the obvious follow up question, which manga will I start with? Not Doremon or Pokemon! A JHS student of mine suggested a samurai story based during the Meiji era. Other people suggested other things. My buddy Nate said to start with Crayon Shinchan, cause that's for kids but hella funny regardless. I was thinking of The Drifting Classroom, by Umezu, because he is totally awesome and it's been dubbed "horror" manga. The point is that I want to get hooked, right off the starting line.

Any suggestions? For those in the know, I'd really prefer if I can find manga with furigana.

Japanese Cowboys?

I know what you're asking. "Is there some sort of cowboy cosplay convention in town?"



A legit question, since cosplay isn't just about anime and comics, but other fun things (nazis?). Nope, this is just a bunch of fine folks who love country western music. Fuckin' American country music!



I was showing these photos to a girl the next day, and asked her if she had ever listened to country music. "You mean like Taylor Swift?" Hell no! This was nothing but classics from the likes of Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, and Willie Nelson.



How did I end up here? I was supposed to meet Keizo, Nate, and some out of town friends for ramen, but was riding my bicycle and got there way to early. So I was just biking around the alleys of West Tokyo, trying to kill time, somewhere near Daitabashi station. A neon Budweiser sign and cowboy hats caught my eye.



"C'mon in! Have a drink!" slurred a drunk Japanese guy. Don't mind if I do. It was this group of about 30 friends, let's call them The Rad Old Dudes who Love Country Brigade. So the RODLCB was having their bonnenkai, end of the year party, singing and drinking.



A couple bourbons later, and I figured I should document this most random of hours in my life.





Slide guitars and shit. Fresh.



Everyone's English was pretty good, but the bassist of the band, David, clued me in on the deal. This bar was owned by a famous Japanese fiddle player, and has been serving the country music loving crowds of Tokyo for decades.



The fact that my granddaddy came from Texas actually worked in my favor for the first time in my life!