Day 16: Legal Advice

As soon as this whole mess started going down, I asked for advice from friends and colleagues living in Japan. What followed was a slew of suggestions. Most leaned to the side of, 'You should take a giant poop on the floor, that'll show em!'

Of course, there was the expected 'Break everything!' tidbit. The most evil award goes to 'Milk-chicken-bomb.' Tempting.

But the one universal piece of advice was to seek legal council. Surely, when someone breaks into your apartment and illegally evicts you, a law may have been broken, and civil retribution is possible.

The Tokyo Bar Association provides 30 minute legal consultations 4 times a week. They will provide an interpreter to translate the difficult Japanese legal jargon into English. Gotta make a reservation in Japanese though.

My 30 minute, $50 consultation went as follows:

0:00 to 0:15 - Explain the situation. I wrote out a timeline with major dates and parties involved. The lawyer was pleased that I came prepared.

0:15 to 0:20 - The dreaded doshio... what do we do? Yeah, the lawyers were shocked that something like this could have happened in Japan.

0:20 to 0:30 - Advice time!

Basically it comes down to who was the legal landlord of my apartment at the time of the break in. My landlord is involved in a court battle with another landlord, the one, I'm assuming, who perpetrated this whole deal. I've been looking at it as theft this whole time, but it could also be seen as some sort of shady eviction. Shady... yet not so illegal. Anyways, if it is someday decided that my guy was the owner on June 23rd, 2011, then I can take legal action against the bastards who did this to me.

If it is decided that my guy was not the legal landlord at the time of the... eviction... then tough shit. I could potentially take legal action against him for giving me a false contract. But... it can be shown that I was aware of the situation, and not tricked by my landlord into signing false documents.

Let me try and explain. My rent was so low that only an idiot would be unaware that something was up. I know that the c'mon... is this guy serious defense is full of holes, but it was pretty obvious that something was up. How low was my rent? Facts and figures at a later date, but somewhere below 50% of the normal rent in my building. When explaining myself to police, or lawyers, or random dudes on the train, I always lose credibility when I mention the rent I was paying. Truth be told, I had a good run. I estimate that over the 2 years I was there, I saved enough to buy a new KTM 990 SM touring edition with the optional anodized luggage.

Funny though, I'm still driving the 20 year old Honda CB1000 with the bag-and-bungee-cord luggage option.

So now it's just a waiting game. How long? Probably forever. Court cases like this have been known to drag on for decades in Japan. And since I have left the apartment, I don't have much of a connection to the going-ons. I doubt I will ever have contact with that landlord again. And I need to wait until his thing is over before my thing can begin.

Is that the end of this story? No violence? No retribution? Just a pfffftttt (sound of a balloon deflating)? Could very well be. I'll be away from computers in general for over a month, doing my seasonal summer camp in the countryside. The police told me that they will start their investigation now, but my lack of confidence in their abilities towards this matter are probably with merit, and I may have heard the last of them.

Thanks for listening. Of course, advice is always welcome (non-poop advice I should clarify).

And here's a video of my new home:

Read more of this saga at Day 1, Day 2, Day 5, Day 6, Day 12, and Day 16.

Day 12: Search Warrant

Monday, July 4th.

So the cops are all set to execute the search warrant on the room next to mine. You know, the room with all of my stolen goods in it. They said they would do it at 10am. I arrive at 10am, with a rented truck, to hopefully get all the shit I own on earth back.

'We are waiting for the owner of the room to come with the key,' says the cop. What?!? The dude who possibly jacked my stuff is coming down? I don't know if that is good or bad. Anyways, he shows up 90 minutes late.

Of course, his key doesn't work.

So the cops call down a locksmith. But they also need a 3rd party witness, so we wait around for a fireman or something to show up.

It's all just more wasted time. Meanwhile the cops and owners of the room are crackin jokes like a couple of school chums, and the translator is giving me almost nothing.

Don't worry, it gets more uneventful as the day goes on.

Finally the locksmith starts drilling. I remember the other locksmith from before, dude took 2 hours. This guy took about 2 minutes. And his drill was almost silent. It just melted through the metal.

Once in, I saw all my stuff there. Relief flooded over me. There is my hard drive with 10 years of photos on it. And there are my underwears. I guess that's all I really care about. I already spent $135 for the new passport, $20 for the new bank book, and $150 for a new motorcycle key. What more do I really need?

I don't want to get started on the amount of cash I've wasted on bullshit in the past week. It's been a lot. Irrelevant.

Police dust for prints, then take mine and the owner's. By the way, he's not like the 'owner' owner, more like a manager. The room has been empty for a few months as far as I can tell.

After that, the cops let me take it away. I start ferrying it to my friend's place, which is about an hour for each load if you count loading and unloading times. So after 3 hours, it's all done.

I say goodbye, and that's it. Seriously, it was an uneventful day, aside from getting my stuff back. It seems like everything is there, though a few things got ruined because they tossed a bottle of maple syrup with a loose cap in.

I'm sure you've pieced a few things together, and realized that this was no ordinary smash-and-grab type robbery. At this time, I'm going to refrain from writing about the parties involved, or my theories, or past indicators that something like this was a possibility. There is an open investigation, and I'm going to shut up now. Sorry.

Next step? Well, my friend's place is a damn mess with all my stuff, and he comes back to Japan in a couple days. So I've got 3 different real estate connections scouring for a new place for me. I thought I'd try and just crash on people's couches for the summer, but realized that is kind of retarded and I would end up kind of being a dick to some of my closest friends.

My next post will probably be a rant about how jacked the rental system is out here, and as soon as you make terms with it, they jack you again because your skin is white. Or a rant about how old ladies watch the garbage depositories like hawks, lest you put a plastic bottle in the incorrect bin, even though it all gets incinerated anyways. Or a rant about how rad maple syrup is and that I am all out because that stuff was dumped all over my books and stereo equipment.

Here's a video of all my crap at by buddy's place. Sorry dude!

Read more of this saga at Day 1, Day 2, Day 5, Day 6, Day 12, and Day 16.

Day 6: Detective Work

Tuesday, June 28th.

So I'm sitting at work, thinking about the situation. Thinking about the police.

I mean the Japanese police.

I mean, surely they must be on the case. What would be the first step in investigating this sort of thing. Surely they went door to door in my apartment building, looking for evidence.

Then I thought about the police in this country, and realized that they probably didn't do anything.

So I thought about where to start. If Conan can do it, so can I!

The question is simple; how can they break in to my place, pack up all my stuff, move it out, and be gone in about 3 hours. Of course, I made it easier by having half of my belongings in moving boxes. Not only that, but I had empty moving boxes and packing tape ready to go for the rest. But still, they moved fast.

The answer was simple, they moved it all to another room in the building.

But that's so god damned simple. The police must have explored that route. Out of curiosity I went to check things out.

I'm in my room (which has no lock on it at the moment). I go onto the balcony. I lean out. I look in the room next to me, a room that has been empty for at least 2 months.

And...

There's my shit! I can see some moving boxes, my desk, a bottle of Patron tequila. 100% mine. Unbelievable.

Back to the cops, explained to them what's going on, got the investigators to come down.

Getting shit done.

We went back and I showed the police.

Then, those dreaded words... doshio... what do we do? It's my stuff, stolen from my room and put into another. But, that room is owned by someone, and they can't just go smashing in. There's paperwork to be done, warrants to be signed, and procedure to be followed.

And time to be wasted.

Speaking of time, It's now day 10, and the police have finally set a date to execute the warrant. Day 12, in the morning, I'll meet them at my room, they will break in to the neighbors apartment, and I will find out if the thieves were simply using the room for storage or if they took the good stuff and left the undesirables behind. Fuckers obviously don't know how much Patron tequila costs in this country!

The police said that I have to take my belongings on the spot, after they do some minor police work like dusting for prints. Not that I would, but they told me I can't move anything back into my original room. Luckily my friend J's place is big, and he's out of town, so I can rent a truck and take it all there.

Soon... soon this chapter will be over. Then I can focus on finding a new apartment, and suing anyone and everyone I can. I've been told by legal council that in a civil court, the old owner, the new owner, the owner of the adjacent apartment, and the building management are all possibly liable. I'm not the type of person to sue, or hold grudges, or even really get upset for that matter, but I think this would be an interesting story.

Next update's gonna be a big one!

Oh, and some people sent pity money to my paypal account (macduckston@gmail.com). You guys are awesome! I used some of it to buy teaching materials for my kid's classes, and most of it to get good and drunk!

Read more of this saga at Day 1, Day 2, Day 5, Day 6, Day 12, and Day 16.

Day 5: Insurance

Monday, June 27th.

After a weekend of drinking and cataloging everything I possess, I met the insurance claims investigator. Many yen is coming my way.

He went over it, said it looks good, and then dropped some info.

Well, the insurance covers about $40,000... but that is just for a fire or if the room above me leaks water.

Theft is covered at $5,000. Son of a bitch! I have more than that in camera equipment alone.

There's no point arguing, it's all there in both fine print and large print.

But wait, it gets worse!

The next morning the insurance calls my real estate office and says that they doubt my claim! Holy crap, that's so slimy. Hmmm... not unexpected though.

I sent them this old video showing that I do indeed have a TV, computer, and $2000 leather racing suit in my place. Damn racing suit is borrowed, and I never even wore it on a bike.

There's more on day 6...

Read more of this saga at Day 1, Day 2, Day 5, Day 6, Day 12, and Day 16.

Day 2: Running Errands

Friday, June 24th.

What to do the day after having your apartment ransacked? No time for tears, it's time for errands! Remember, everything I own(ed) is gone.

Report my bankbook stolen. Luckily, I had my wallet with me at the time of the theft, but the thieves got a hold my bankbook and personal seal. The bank lady had me fill out a bunch of paperwork. There was a problem because I have moved so many times.

Today's story stays a little boring before it gets crazy.

Next stop was the free foreigner consultation at my district office. I live in Bunkyo-ku, an old and rather desirable part of town. Location in dark blue:

Nice old guy there. Probably used to questions like, 'Where can I find an English speaking hairstylist?' or 'Where can I buy maple syrup?' Instead I roll in with my story. You may have heard the rumors that Japan is a safe country. I think my case might be rare.

He figured the police will do their thing, but he checked with the district residents complaint office, and found nothing.

I'm out of this country!

Well, onto American soil at least. The American embassy was straight forward. The new passport will be here sometime soon.

An important errand came next.

Buy something to wear. Yeah, all my clothes are gone. Uniqlo 'dry' stuff is recommended for the homeless. Because it dries quickly. And I'm homeless.

Ok, so the last errand of the day is to meet the insurance investigator at the apartment. He needs to take some photos of my empty room, fill out the claim forms, and give me my 40 Gs!

I also want to get my shoes out. I will be staying at a friend's place for a couple weeks while he is out of town.

I get home and...

... the fuck?...

The lock has been changed again.

Keep in mind I live on a busy street, only 1 minute from the local police box (koban). Repeating yesterdays routine, I call my real estate agent and go to the police. Soon after, I'm back at the apartment with:

• The same inept locksmith from the day before.
• The local beat cop.
• My real estate agent.
• My friend T, who has a truck. We plan on loading my motorcycle and taking it to his shop. No, they didn't take my bike... but they got my bike keys!
• The insurance investigator, a nice man who speaks English as well as I speak Japanese, so communication is no problem.

After a few hours of trying to get in, the insurance guy leaves.

The investigation squad shows up.

We tell the locksmith to decimate the lock.

I gave it a 50/50 that my shoes would be gone. Luck was on my side. Although the evening was long, it was mostly just waiting around for the damn locksmith.

I took my shoes and motorcycle helmet to my friend J's place, and T took the bike. Now is just a waiting game.

Or so I thought. In the next chapter, shit gets even stranger!

As for me, I'll be crashing at J's place while he is out of the country for 2 weeks. You did me a solid buddy! Money is ok, I have some savings in my account, am expecting a huge amount from my insurance settlement, when I can finally meet the claims investigator.

Stay tuned...

Read more of this saga at Day 1, Day 2, Day 5, Day 6, Day 12, and Day 16.

Day 1: Apartment Robbed

On Thursday, June 23rd, I left my apartment just before noon to go to work. Here's what my place is like, for the record:

I returned home just after 3:30pm. When I put my key in the lock, something was strange. I'd say having your lock changed on you is strange!

The story that I've refrained from going into on this blog is that my landlord and another landlord have a civil lawsuit going on over the ownership of some rooms. This shouldn't affect me until the case is resolved in court, at which point I would either be asked to leave or allowed to stay. This is how the world should work.

I called my real estate agent, told her the problem, and she called a locksmith. Meanwhile, I went to the police. They said that since it is a civil matter, there is nothing they can do.

It's now 5:30pm, and the locksmith arrives. Dude doesn't have very good tools, and he struggles with the lock. For over 2 hours.

And now the story begins. I made a video:

Completely cleaned out.

Everything I own in this world (apart from the shoe closet) is gone. Cameras, computers, TV... but also things like my toothbrush, dirty socks, and English books.

Completely cleaned out.

Back to the police. This time they take notice. CSI Japan comes down and lifts footprints. I fill out a lot of paperwork. The police give me a number I can call to check the investigation. And at 11pm, I walk away from my Tokyo apartment, sweaty work clothes on my back.

Thus ends day 1. A local friend gave me a floor to sleep on for the night.

Am I leaving anything out? Oh, the suspects. Of course the guys that are fighting the civil lawsuit with my landlord are on the top of the list. But no one can get a hold of them. My hopes are that they just figured they have a right to the room, and moved my stuff into storage.

Coming up on day 2... no answers, more questions!

Read more of this saga at Day 1, Day 2, Day 5, Day 6, Day 12, and Day 16.

Apartment Hunting

I've been checking out some spots to move to in Tokyo. Now, I live on the north side of the Yamanote, near Sugamo station. My spot is cool, in a brand new high-rise building, and only a few minutes walk from my primary job. But for reasons I won't go into (yet) I want to move. Actually, I was told that I need to move, then assured that that was not the case by my lawyer. Again, I won't go into it (yet).

Before you watch my videos, let me warn you that these are just boring videos of me looking at apartments. They are only like a minute long each, so I don't feel bad for wasting anyone's time.

Let's go the order I saw them. First up is one in Nishi-Ogikubo. Maybe 10 minutes from Shinjuku by train. It's small, and I instantly realized that it is important to be very specific when looking for a place. You don't just look them up on craigslist, you have to be shown the apartments by a real estate agent, who gets a one month cut if you decide to rent. By only specifying "good price", I got shown some real dumps. But the price was low.

Next is another in this part of town. These are pretty small, in old buildings, with little sunlight. By the way, both of these run about $500 a month.

Next up is a spot about a minute from Nakano Fujimicho station on the Maranochi subway line. It's a few minutes from Shinjuku, but you have to transfer. Bonus, it's above a pachinko parlor!

Same building, corner room. I dig the loft. These spots got for about $700. Plus moving costs, which I'll explain later.

My friend, who is a real estate agent, introduced me to some places around Higashi-Nakano. I really like this area. It's close enough to walk from Shinjuku, meaning I can drink until 2am instead of running to catch the 12:30 last train. This apartment was reformed in 2007, meaning the bathroom is pretty kick ass. You'll pay an extra $100 a month for the reform though.

As you can see, these rooms are pretty big. Around $1000 a month. Next up is the same building, but this room wasn't reformed. Bonus! My friend learns about American humor!

"It's no joke! It's serious problem!"

So there you go, some places for rent in Tokyo. Now, you may be thinking that you can afford to move into one of these. Slow down there money bags! There are a few extra charges before you get the key. You've got 2 months deposit. Then you've got 1 or 2 months key money, which is a nice way of saying extortion from the landowner. Yeah, you just give them a ton of cash for no reason, except that you have to. That's the reason. People just do it. Oh, that real estate agent who showed you the place, they get a month out of your pocket. Then there is mandatory fire insurance for about $200 for 2 years. Oh, and you have to pay the normal rent for the first month.

So a $1000 a month apartment is gonna run you around $6000 just to get in the door. Welcome to Japan.

Motocross Riding with KTM Japan

Yes, yes we shall. Let's dancing!

When some of my students asked me to come along for a weekend of riding KTM bikes in the dirt, you know I jumped. And it doesn't hurt that they just happen to be KTM mechanics. Cause I rode these bikes hella hard! Not hard like, "Dude was pulling off some sick stunts and barreling through mad crazy terrain," but hard like, "Dude kept crashing into trees and shit, all the while red-lining the engine in 1st gear."

Yeah, my first experience doing motocross was, to put it bluntly, a challenge. Everyone riding here was a seasoned vet. In fact, the Japanese motocross champ himself was here to give pointers. Serious riders. It was my first time in dirt ever. Challenging. But fun.

Before coming, I thought this would be rindo touring. Rindos being fire roads in the mountains. Shit that I can ride at a snails pace on the road bike, upgraded to high speed on a proper offroad bike. But no, it was singletrack motocross, in the rain and mud.

What I learned:

• There are 2 tricky aspects to this, the uphill and downhill
• As for the downhill, you can pretty much just go. It's a nerve thing. The bike can handle it if you can.
• On the uphill, in muddy conditions, you need a bit of skill. Lots of speed is needed, if you slow down the bike will just slide out from under you. But too much speed and the rear tire will spin out. So you have to alternate between full power until the rear wheel starts to slip, and low power until the read tire is back in line. At least thats what was explained to me.
• It's tiring. After crashing a dozen or so times your energy will be gone.
• Standing on the pegs is an important skill. I rarely stand up while riding on the street. It feels really awkward. But, motocross riders are almost never seated.

The weather slowly became worse and worse, with the second day getting the blunt of the seasonal typhoon weather. Anyways, I filmed my first ride with my helmet cam. It's over an hour of some pretty boring footage. Here's the last 9 minutes. This amazing video features me being out of breath, speaking broken Japanese, and a camera lens all fogged up and blurry. What it doesn't show is how steep these hills were. They were pretty steep. The helmet mounted camera makes everything look flat.

After watching some more "first time" videos on the internet... damn, I had it rough. Dudes are riding around in meadows and what not.

The boss split after we set up the event tents on the first day, and came back a few hours later with about 30 fresh river fish. Grub!

Everyone was eating and drinking, then riding around all drunk in the hills. Fun times on a closed circuit.

Bonus... onsen!