Saturday, December 29, 2007

Open Letter to the Chinese Guy Who Stole My Camera

Dear Chinese guy whole stole my camera,

Hey buddy. How's it going? Long time no see! Well... I never actually saw you, but you saw me! On my damn digital camera!

I know where you live... in Xian, population about 3 million. Or maybe you live in Guilin. Fuck it, I don't actually have any idea where you live. Congratulations, you win. Your prize is my camera. The same one you stole. You can have it.

I bought my Canon IXY digital camera about 8 months ago after I broke my Canon A700 during one of the notorious bicycle accidents. Although the IXY took shitty low light photos, and the landscape shots were nothing to blog about, it was tiny tiny and would power up and take a shot in half a second. A great camera for roadside monkey sightings.

I think you work at the airport. You also stole my dad's cell phone. But you didn't touch my ipod, which was right next to the camera. Did my collection of hip hop, new age forest music, and philosophy podcasts turn you off?

As part of my "Congratulations, you're finished having children molest you while you teach them pronouns" present, I bought a new Nikon D40. You, Mr. Sticky Fingers, didn't get to that one. I kept it bolted to my eye during my entire trip to China. Of course it takes better shots, but I can't really carry an SLR into museums for some candid artwork shots. I feel like a ninja who, though his sword may be deadly, feels naked without his shobo.

When I told my guide in Guilin that I had my camera stolen, he said in his deadpan way, "Well... this is China." It was funny.

So you have my camera, Mr. Zhong guo ren. I don't have many photos on it, just some macro shots of my ryokan dinner from Izu in Japan. Can you please send those to me? There's also random videos of Shinkansens, but you can just delete those.

Sincerely,
Brian the wei guo ren.




Next: I went to Nara and then spent 11 days in China. My camera with all my good photos wasn't stolen, so I'm gonna try and get up my shots soon. From the Great Wall, to fake Gucci bags, to ... unusual ... food, there's a lot to show.

1 comment:

Kayo said...

My FUJIFIIM digital camera was also stolen in Dalian/Talien (大連) and my friend’s SONY video camera was stolen in Shanghai. Our Chinese guide said the same thing‘This is China’. The last photo is really nice!