What if Jason from Friday the 13th somehow made his way to San Francisco's Alcatraz island. Of course, this takes place in the past when Alcatraz was a functioning prison. Let's say... 1958. Somehow you, dear reader, have found yourself in the medical facility of this establishment. And for some other reason, the nurses are serving tasty cocktails and snacks.
Welcome to Alcatraz ER.
The food was pretty tasty. Most of it was normal izakaya type food... with random names. We started with the "sex without a condom spring rolls." Yes, we had a real live Japanese person with us to translate. So these are somewhat accurate. So here ya go, "sex without a condom springrolls."
Oh wait, I forgot to talk about the drinks.
The drinks were either penis or drug related. Oh, and there was also one drink that came in a severed head. I had a スピド (speed) cocktail. It was a Malibu and coke with a bowl of powdered sugar to sprinkle on top. I found out it was sugar the hard way, after snorting a little toot off my pinky nail. We also had an LSD, which came with a couple alcohol pills. I guess the Japanese think LSD comes in easy to swallow pill form. Someone at the table got something with a banana that had been shaped into a penis. Yeah, a "penis colada".
Cause prison is all about drugs and cocks.
Back to the food...
We had some からげ (deep fried chicken pieces). But these were no ordinary chicken nuggets! No, they came in a cage. A prison cage.
There was some pasta called "pedophile pasta" or something like that. We passed and had a nice ethnic salad. After that we had fondue. Just plain, normal fondue. Except I haven't had fondue in years. It was properly delicious.
One of the reasons to go (and a reason for the 600 yen table charge) is to see the show. Less of a show... and more of some antics.
Firstly, murderous Jason runs around scaring the patrons. The staff come to the rescue with guns. After killing the perp, they drag one random patron out into the hallway and inject him with a giant syringe. In his ass. Yep, they pin him down and shoot drugs I guess up his butt.
Then the lights go on and you order more food.
Oh... highlight of the night! When we were waiting to go in, one of the nurse waitresses came out of the ladies bathroom. 2 minutes latter some random guy in a suit came out. Way to go suit guy!
Alcatraz ER is located in Shibuya. My directions are... go to "Love Hotel Hill". It's there somewhere. Easy to find, just ask in the shops that say "Men's Point" or "Pink Information". Those shops are there for directions to local restaurants... trust me. Price of the meal is about 3000 yen if you don't drink a lot. There are set all-you-can drink menus for around 5000.