Autumn Colors, Motorcycles, and an Island

Shikoku (四国)

Day 1

Shikoku is the smallest of the 4 main islands of Japan. You've got Hokkaido, where it is cold. Kyushu, where it is warm. Honshu, where all the people and cities and jobs are. And then... Shikoku.



I told you it was small!



At first glance, Shikoku is very... country. After riding around the island for 4 days, I have to say Shikoku is very... country. It's a good thing. Sometimes we need long mountain roads, and nice old people, and whatever the opposite of high fashion is... low fashion I guess. Sometimes we need all that.



My trip began with a trip over the Shimanami route. Dozens of small islands have recently been connected by shiny new bridges. You get to cross them. It costs a lot. But it's super pretty! Yeah!





I highly recommend riding a bicycle! There is a separate bike lane along this whole route, and it's really cheap to do so. You can rent one at one end and drop it off at the next. Seriously, if I had any friends out here who enjoyed riding bicycles, I would do this in the future. Unfortunately I'm all hitori when it comes to that sort of thing. Hitori means alone. It sounds better in Japanese.





About $40 in tolls and $10 in ice cream later (the white one is flavored with local Ehime salt) and it's time to head into the mountains. Don't want ice cream? Have a nice bottle of fish. Only $10! (Most omiyage is $10... all part of the omiyage conspiracy in Japan)



Once on Shikoku, you are met with... OMG... could it be... it is! MORMONS!!!!! Fuck yes!



Do whatever it is you do when you see members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Personally, I get really excited; giggling and jumping up and down. They remind me of those cheesy "do unto others" commercials that were all over the TV in the 80s. Also my childhood friend Eric was a Mormon, and he totally had real ninja stars at his house when we were like 10.



Since it's autumn now, everything is all red and brown and orange. Take pictures of it, apparently thats what all the locals do.





I camped under some ancient vine bridges in the Iya Valley area. I was totally hitori that night. I wonder why...





Because it was fucking cold! Holy shit it sucked that night. I awoke the next day in the fetal position, nay the frozen fetal position, and immediately decided to skip my planned hiking adventures and head to the coast, where various sources say it is a lot warmer. Various sources would be random Japanese motorcycle riders.

Day 2



For lunch, found a little shack on the top of a mountain crest. Their specialty?



Udon noodles with boar meat. Hook it up!



So anyways it was off to Kochi to me.





The bike lot at the beach was filled with Kawasaki Ninjas. I had to park like 200m away all by my hitori self. I wanna be part of the cool club too!

Spent the day sitting on the beach.

Spent the night at a campground next to the beach. This was a weird campground. First, I noticed it was free. By free, I mean there was a massive homeless camp there. But also families out for a weekend of s'mores and Frisbee. After setting up the tent, I made friends with the 20 or so feral cats that were living there.

How was the sleep? Warmer, but every 15 minutes a Bosozoku group would come by and wake me up. And at one point I heard some rustling outside my tent. I grabbed my knife, ready to go into battle with whoever was trying to murder me. Then I heard peeing on a nearby tree. So I assume either a dog or a drunk businessman lost on his way home.

Day 3



So there is this whole deal with Shikoku. There are 88 temples. You go on a pilgrimage to all 88. You are supposed to walk it, and it's 1200km and takes a couple months. Or you can take a tour bus, stay in hotels, and leave the walking for the suckers! Take that ancient, meaningful spiritual journey.





This is number 32.



Number 31 is pretty massive. Lots of moss and statues and what not. Is it just like every other temple you've seen in Japan? Pretty much. But these things never get old, they are all amazing.




After visiting 2 of the 3 local temples, I went back to the campsite to pack up and head out. I wasn't 100% on where to go, but had an idea.

That's when I met the cultists.

The religious cultists.

I don't know what to say. I will write something in the next few days... this deserves it's own post. Let's just say that an hour later I was in a small room, I'm not exactly sure where, and I was holding beads and chanting the same thing "Nam-myo-ho-ren-ge-kyo" for 20 minutes. Must... research... somehow.





Took the roads inland a bit, into the mountains. I saw that there was a rider's inn not far away. Rider's inns are usually family owned restaurants with cheap accommodation for motorcycle riders. Along the way I stopped at a rest stop to check the map. By the light of the vending machine, I found my way. When I looked up another rider had parked. We exchanged formalities, "Good evening, it's cold, where are you going." Turns out he was heading to another rider's in. He suggested issho. No longer hitori, I was now issho with my new friend Kensei.



The place was covered with motorcycle club stickers and photos of past guests. The owner was a fun little old guy who didn't seem to get that I didn't understand his speeches in Japanese. None the less we all spoke the international language of beer.



Here he is pointing to an old black and white photo of himself with his old '47 Honda motorcycle, which is now in a museum on Kyushu.



A closer shot of a younger rider. I gotta stop smiling in my motorcycle photos, the pissed off scowl is so much more bad ass.



I perused through about 15 years of guest's writings in a stack of notebooks. Then I had a hot bath and slept in a real bed.





Kensei and I are seated. The inn master is on the right. Not sure who is in the center. The guy on the left in the off road riding gear said he was a monk. They could have been fucking with me.

Day 4



Woke up and said goodbye to the inn master, his grand daughter with the mullet hairdo, and Kensei. Kensei was off for another week or so of riding, but I was headed home. But first a quick tour of Matsuyama. I say quick because it was starting to rain, and I didn't have any rain gear. It fell off my bike a couple months ago. Sho ga nai. That's life.



Dogo Onsen is the oldest onsen in Japan.

Ok, I saw the sight, now time to get back home. A few minutes to the ferry, and pretty much door to door service back to my place in Kure. It was essential to get back to my computer, since Kensei had emailed my phone with a bunch of Kanji and I need the internets to help me decipher that stuff. His important message... "I'm drinking beer."

Hey people, check this shit out!



Japanese lesson for the day. Ni ni ni ni ni ni!!!! (2 2 2 2 2 2)

The Demise of NOVA

(photos courtesy of random walking around in Hiroshima)

If you were ever interested in teaching English in Japan, you know, the country that takes people with no teaching credentials and most likely no desire to teach, then you surely know about NOVA.

NOVA was the leading ekiwa, English conversation school, in Japan. Not just leading, it was a towering behemoth of mammoth proportions. Imagine getting off a train... anywhere. You see the neon lights of NOVA. When you tell someone you work for a English conversation school, by default they ask if it's NOVA.



The NOVA business plan was, in a nutshell, get a lot of money from students up front, then spend all that money opening new schools. This led to an explosion. Like a wildfire, NOVA schools sprung up everywhere. Stock prices soared. Then slowly fell.

Imagine a company where all the cash went into new schools. Then throw in some shady business practices and a government ban on new sign ups. It led to the inevitable, the company is done. Roughly 4000 foreign teachers as well as countless Japanese are out of work and homeless. It's fucked up all around.



If you want the nitty gritty details, spend a few hours reading this guys blog. Not only is he a great writer and photographer, but he goes into great deal about all the aspects of NOVA that went wrong. Skip the podcast, though, unless you want to hear someone bashing on Americans for 30 minutes at a time.



If you live in Japan, you have most likely met a few NOVA teachers. They may or may not have been cool. They may or may not have been drunk. They may or may not have been in jail.

They may or may not be some of the coolest guys you've hung out with in the last year.

Halloween

A 98% moon rising over the unlit signs of hostess and sunaku bars. Hopefully when you see this, you have some memories of the night before. Many foreigners here choose not to remember their nights out. It's really up to you. Are you being forced to drink your 8th beer from 7-11? Remember, most clubs give you a free drink ticket. It's all about moderation and pacing yourself. Unless it isn't. In that case drink up people.



Most Japanese will just ignore the 192cm tall Batman walking down the street. You can tell they aren't really ignoring, just pretending not to notice. Artsy street performers are very rare in Japan for this reason.



Batman- I'm at Hiyajima park.

Guy on phone (Bill I think?) - You are lost.

Batman - I know.

Bill - Did you turn right like I said?

Batman - I thought you weren't serious.

Bill - Why would you think that?

Batman - ...

Bill - Take a cab



Batman bounces from club to club. The Hiroshima crew sends Batman a text that says they are at Big Echo Karaoke across from 7-11. Batman looks at the 7-11 in front of him and sees nothing but an empty apartment across the street. Phone calls don't get answered. There might be alcohol involved. There might be more than one 7-11 in Hiroshima. Just a hunch.

Outside the club, a very drunk blonde girl Batman was dancing with earlier says she is scared to go out into the big scary world by herself to get a cab. He hails one without moving from his spot on the sidewalk. Drunk blond leaves. Batman is sober enough to realize that life is funny.



Batman rolls with Solid Snake. At the next club Batman and Solid Snake are the only people dressed in costume, and everyone is speaking Spanish. Immediately on entering, he sees a kindly Nigerian obviously trying to pick up 2 girls leaving the club. Batman decides to run a little wingman game and gets the Nigerian on positive ground. 2 minutes after leaving them he sees the Nigerian alone.

Batman - How's things working out for you tonight?

Nigerian - Man... I'm just trying to FUCK tonight!

Batman - Ganbatte I guess.



On the 6am train back to Kure, Batman removes his cape and cowl. The gaggle of genki junior high girls giggle. The salaryman next to him continues reading his newspaper. A quick glance reveals that his newspaper is pornography. Just a nice pictoral of spread eagle goodness to start the day. He turns the page and it's the sports section. Nippon Ham plays the Chunichi Dragons later today.

The leaves outside are turning bright red.

Another Saturday

You are an 8 year old Japanese boy.

You are forced to come to the English conversation school every Saturday. But, since you are only 8, you fully look forward to it. Maybe it's because your teacher likes bu~ bu~~~~ jokes just as much as you.

Luckily you can't read minds, cause you'd hear sensei thinking, "Oh fuck, I'm supposed to do a special Halloween lesson today." 3 minutes before your class. You wouldn't care anyways though, cause sensei makes bu~ bu~~~ jokes and lets you operate the CD player. And you love to sing. Not regular kids songs, like the Hokey Pokey, which sensei has been forcing all his students to sing lately, but the whack songs from your English book. Songs with lyrics like:


What are you doing? What are you doing?
I'm watching TV. I'm watching TV.
Can I watch with you?
Sure! Come and watch too.

Or maybe its the over the top 2 minute guitar solo in this song (total track time being 2:15) that makes it special. Or maybe its that there are about 10 songs at the same level as this throughout the book. And your teacher found that if he lets you operate the CD player, he can kill 30 minutes of a 50 minute lesson just watching you sing.

When your sensei wants to teach you some new Halloween words, he, instead of resorting to elaborate props from the 100-yen store, or teacher made games (it might seem like sensei doesn't enjoy spending money or making things), well he just starts replacing words in songs. The song about going to the store becomes a song about going to the cemetery. The song about counting cookies becomes a song about counting skeletons. And the song about watching TV? Well it becomes a song about spiders. Not being creative, sensei pulls a verb out that you already know, and it now becomes a song about eating spiders.

You fall off your chair laughing. You hit your head on the floor, but are not phased. You roll around in a fit of laughter in the cubicle size room.

Your teacher hopes you never grow up.

Your teacher likes Saturdays.

Hiroshima

Hiroshima and the Sea


Where do I start...



The Peace Memorial Park is probably the first stop, maybe even the only stop, for many people visiting Hiroshima. This is a great place to people watch. Especially the foreigners. The truth is, people get very confused about how to act here. Many people feel extreme guilt, like somehow they, as Americans, are personally responsible for the atomic bombings. So you've got your groups of confused foreigners. It's Japan, so you've got some local touts, dressed in either over the top hip hop clothes, or cowboy/metal/biker styles trying to pull people into hostess bars. There's random bands that set up along the river to play whatever music they feel like. I even saw some British high school students, and this one boy was obviously trying to line up some pussy for later. All while their teacher read about dead children and the origami cranes that represent them. So yeah, this place is good for watching randomness.

But seriously, you should pay your respects and honor those who lost their lives in this tragic event. Spend some time reading all the plaques, most of them are in multiple languages. Walk down the Peace Boulevard. Follow the signposted walking routes. Read the plaques. Look at the pictures. Remember that photo of San Francisco in 1906 after the big earthquake and fires? The picture where everything is destroyed?



Memories of local history lessons and 5th grade class reports. This looks worse.



Infinitely worse. Not caused by a fault line or a volcano or god because he hates gays. Caused by people. People watch here. You will see a lot of emotion. A lot of people trying to understand. And thats a good thing.







There's a castle in Hiroshima. Rode the motorcycle around it, maybe I'll go back, but most likely not. I'm gonna assume the castle is a replica, and not the original from centuries ago. Just a hunch.

Actually I'm sure I won't go back. Japanese castles all look the same to me.



A random ride up and down random streets led to a random mountain with amazing views.






Hmmm... my review of Hiroshima is kinda crappy. There's lots of shopping. Hooray for shopping. I went in the Adidas store. They didn't have my size.

Oh yeah, I checked out the Hiroshima City Museum of Contemporary Art. There are 2 modern art museums in Hiroshima, this one looked to be better, but I'll go to the other one one of these days.





Their permanent exhibit is only a couple hundred yen to see, and it was very good. It explained (I think...it was in Japanese) the valuing process of art, and the pieces were set in monetary value order. Seeing amazing pieces for a fraction of the value of hideously large ones really brings things into a different view. Not very crowded, this museum is set on a hill in Hijiyama park. I recommend it.

Oh, and it only takes 10 minutes from Kure on the toll road to get there! That's doing like 100km/h, which is kinda way above the limit. But 100km/h is seriously slow (60mph).



Life in Kure is very relaxed, but I'm also feeling stress at the school here. The children are kind of out of control. This is proving to be difficult for me, to actually have to deal with the kids. At all my previous schools, it seemed that a threat of no stickers would snap the students back into learning mode. This is what I call a zero-stress threat. Saying or doing anything negative in life produces stress. A sarcastic threat of withholding Hello Kitty stickers can hardly be counted as something negative. I'd even go so far, at my Kawagoe school, as to say I was going to tell a kid's mom that he was being bad. That always worked. And since Brian Sensei ain't no snitch, the actual action being threatened here would never occur. Presently, none of these style threats work in the least. I have to resort to Do you want to wait in the other room? This threat is actually valid, and feels negative to say. So I've got 2 classes that are like this, just out of control. But they are special classes so they each happen 3 times a week. And they are first thing in the morning. In Kawagoe, I'd play balloon toss with 1 year olds and their moms, then go to lunch and have a 3 hour break every day. Now I have a crazy class, 3 hour break, another crazy class, and then my regular classes.

But, in the end, it's all worth it for quotes like this:

Brian - "What should we put in our witches soup?"
N (8 years old) - "Dog pee!!!!"
H (8 years old) - "and dog poo!!!"
N (they are twins) - "and dog puke!!!"
H (they are girls) - "Yeah!!! Dog puke!!!"
S (another girl in class) - "What's dog puke?"

Halloween Music

You know that spooky LP that was just ambient sounds and shit that you would play in the background? Yeah, that record playing back when you switched from trick-or-treating to just hitting up the houses with the please-take-one bowl out front. That was the year you and your best friend came up on some hella candy! You remember listening to that vinyl the year the high schoolers tried to egg you and your friend from about 4 feet away and you dodged the bullets matrix style. You think you were even playing that track (now in CD form) when you took your 3 year old niece to the local haunted house 2 years ago. It's one of the purest musical associations available, the Halloween horror track. It's a very good thing. But check out this guys mix, it's downright down loadable. Hip hop beats, nothing too wild, thrown over old horror tracks and samples from movies. It's perfect.

Oh, and FYI , here's by far the greatest Halloween related track. Ever. Enjoy:

Material in the Teacher's Room

There is a cozy little room for the foreign teachers at the school in Kure. Winter lessons are coming up, and rather than make things to teach with, using whats already made is a viable option. Here is a lesson based on Harry Potter. There was this gem sitting inside.



A picture was sent from the cell phone to a bunch of my teacher friends in Japan, but very few of them saw what you see. Let me clarify:

• This vocabulary card is a year old at least, found among piles of old Santa coloring books and Rudolf mad libs.
• When asked, "What is Harry's plan?", this was not a literal question, nor asking for real teaching advice.
• Only one cell phone response referring to a cock. This is completely unacceptable people! Holy shit... do you not all see it right there!

Could be out of the loop, since Harry Potter has not been read... ever. Maybe in the latest book he rides a giant dick around on his wizardly adventures. Who knows. The ending of the last book, the last chapter, the one titled "18 years later" or something... There was no mention of a falic battle of any kind. Anyways... Japanese language study books are awesome!



Explanation of why this is funny will not be provided.