Sunday, October 28, 2007

Another Saturday

You are an 8 year old Japanese boy.

You are forced to come to the English conversation school every Saturday. But, since you are only 8, you fully look forward to it. Maybe it's because your teacher likes bu~ bu~~~~ jokes just as much as you.

Luckily you can't read minds, cause you'd hear sensei thinking, "Oh fuck, I'm supposed to do a special Halloween lesson today." 3 minutes before your class. You wouldn't care anyways though, cause sensei makes bu~ bu~~~ jokes and lets you operate the CD player. And you love to sing. Not regular kids songs, like the Hokey Pokey, which sensei has been forcing all his students to sing lately, but the whack songs from your English book. Songs with lyrics like:

What are you doing? What are you doing?
I'm watching TV. I'm watching TV.
Can I watch with you?
Sure! Come and watch too.

Or maybe its the over the top 2 minute guitar solo in this song (total track time being 2:15) that makes it special. Or maybe its that there are about 10 songs at the same level as this throughout the book. And your teacher found that if he lets you operate the CD player, he can kill 30 minutes of a 50 minute lesson just watching you sing.

When your sensei wants to teach you some new Halloween words, he, instead of resorting to elaborate props from the 100-yen store, or teacher made games (it might seem like sensei doesn't enjoy spending money or making things), well he just starts replacing words in songs. The song about going to the store becomes a song about going to the cemetery. The song about counting cookies becomes a song about counting skeletons. And the song about watching TV? Well it becomes a song about spiders. Not being creative, sensei pulls a verb out that you already know, and it now becomes a song about eating spiders.

You fall off your chair laughing. You hit your head on the floor, but are not phased. You roll around in a fit of laughter in the cubicle size room.

Your teacher hopes you never grow up.

Your teacher likes Saturdays.

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