Thursday, August 10, 2006

Kid's say some funny shit

Random quotes and antics... enjoy.

2 brothers, talking in Japanese in my class:
  • Me - Talk in English guys...ENGLISH!
  • Older Brother - C'mere c'mere c'mere baby (beconning to his younger brother)
  • Younger Brother - No no no no (wagging his finger very coyly) no no... UNO! (we play a lot of UNO in this class)
So despite having a lot of knowledge, these kids only really know how to proposition hostess girls... and deny the advances of horny men. But wait...there's more:
  • Me - (I talk about Baseball with these kids at the end of class usually) OK guys, how many strikes in an out?
  • Them - 3!
  • Me - Good. How many balls in a walk
  • Older bro - How many balls does he have!
  • Younger - How many balls does she have!
  • Me - Class is over, go home
Playing radom learning games with a rather rambunctious young one today:
  • Me - Please don't ever grab my balls again
An "emo" older kid I teach:
  • Me - What did you do today?
  • Student - I dunno
  • Cmon, you had to have done something
  • I slept
  • Till 6pm ?!?!??
  • I read comics
  • Oh! Cool! Which ones?
  • I dunno
  • Cmon, just tell me one
  • I dunno
  • OK, what was the first one you read today
  • I dunno
  • What was the last one ou read then before class?
  • I didn't read any comics today
  • Oh...
5 years olds learning "We're going to the -------":
  • Me - OK, please repeat... Beach!
  • Them - Bitch!
  • Say it 3 times. Beach Beach Beach
  • Bitch Bitch Bitch!!!!
  • (I'm laughing now)
  • (louder) Bitch Bitch BITCH BITCH!!!! (now they are running around in circles yelling BITCH as loud as they can... and no one is the wiser)
Talking with a Japanese Teacher about a tough student I'm about to teach:
  • Me - How is he today?
  • Bad
  • Damn
  • But don't worry, He's scared of ghosts, and I told him if he hits you, says no, or doesn't go to class, ghosts will come and get him tonight
  • ...
In a class of older girls:
  • Me - What books do you like
  • 12 year old girl - Saw 2
  • Me - hunh?
  • 12 y.o. - Here (takes out a paperback of 'Saw II'. Yes, the movie about the serial killer who makes people dive into a pool of dirty syringes, cut off their own feet, and carve open other living people to find a key in that person's stomach)
  • Me - Ummm....

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